MILLER: He was trapped with only his thoughts for company.
MILLER: That was his first strategy, disengaging his thoughts, and he said he got really good at it.
M. PISTORIUS: You don’t really think about anything. You simply exist.
MILLER: Can you describe what it — that feels like? I wonder, is it peaceful, or…
M. PISTORIUS: No, I wouldn’t say it is peaceful. It’s a very dark place to find yourself because, in a sense, you are allowing yourself to vanish.
MILLER: So now when a dark thought came up, instead of letting it just float by he would take it on, try to find some new relationship to it. Like, one time, shortly after having the drool wiped from his chin by a nurse.
MILLER: The point is eventually Martin found a way to reframe, reinterpret even the ugliest thoughts that haunted him.
JOAN PISTORIUS: I hope you die.
MILLER: He was conscious when his mom told him that.
M. PISTORIUS: The rest of the world felt so far away when she said those words.
MILLER: But he began to wrestle with it. Why would a mother say that?
M. PISTORIUS: As time passed, I gradually learned to understand my mother’s desperation. Every time she looked at me, she could see only a cruel parody of the once-healthy child she had loved so much.
MILLER: And over time Martin began reengaging with his thoughts, and slowly, as his mind felt better, something else happened. His body began to get better. Now, why? This is a long story involving inexplicable neurological developments, a painstaking battle to prove his existence.
MILLER: And Martin thinks it may have been his decision to lean into those dark thoughts that helped him to get the very best thing in his life.
JOANNA PISTORIUS: Oh, he’s just saying — he’s just typing.
M. PISTORIUS: My wife.
MILLER: This is Martin’s wife.
M. PISTORIUS: Joanna.
JOANNA PISTORIUS: (Laughter) When Martin talks about me or types about me, he always starts smiling.
MILLER: And Martin, at long last, had no trouble expressing what he felt inside.
M. PISTORIUS: My face would hurt from smiling so much.
MILLER: (Laughter).
