looking for the positive outcomes and being aware of them as well as the negative. You can’t really get rid of the negative and a realistic world view includes that possible outcome, but you do have to push back agaisnt it so it doesn’t win-after all if it is all hopelessness and bleak than why do anything at all?
stop spending too much mental energy on the negatives without also striving to spend the energy on the positives.
posted by bartonlong at 9:44 AM on December 15, 2014
A professor once told our class that it is illogical to spend more time and energy assuming bad things will happen than in assuming good things will happen. She told us that any time spent thinking about what could go wrong had to be balanced in thinking about what could go right. I like the suggestion because it doesn’t require me to stop thinking negative thoughts (which is hard) but simply to offset them with positive thoughts.
posted by jaguar at 9:55 AM on December 15, 2014
You don’t control the thoughts that come into your mind. (The classic example is to try not to think of a white bear) That means it isn’t your fault if you have thoughts you don’t like.
[Thoughts are simply phenomena passing through. There is no need to overly invest in them. No need to get overly tied up in them.]
posted by Anne Neville at 10:16 AM on December 15, 2014
Consciously ask yourself, “Can I be aware of that possibility at the same time I am aware of the color of that building.”
Skip trying to convince yourself your fear, pain, frustration is unrealistic; and don’t force yourself to replace those thoughts with observations of surroundings. Gently ask yourself if it’s possible to be aware of x, y, or z while you are aware of worrisome things. In most cases, yes, you can be aware of the size of a tree, shape of a cloud, etc. without being in denial about something troubling.
The idea is that with practice, you can experience negative thoughts without them dominating. Practicing this even once or twice (again, just asking yourself if it’s possible) can be encouraging, and you lose nothing by trying.
posted by whoiam at 10:16 AM on December 15, 2014
I think some of this is just biology. Humans evolved from prey animals, and the animals with brains that could anticipate danger were the ones that survived.
When I think of something that might go wrong, I create a plan for mitigating the problem as much as possible. For example, a flat tyre on my car. I make sure the spare is full of air, that I have the necessary tools to fix the problem and the necessary knowledge too. I might even practice changing the tyre so that if I ever do need to, I will have some idea of what I’m doing.
Another thing I do is remind myself that human beings are wonderfully adaptive creatures.
[Uncertainty is inevitable, natural, and normal.]
Bad things will happen in this life. That’s a given. Nobody gets out of this world alive. But you can increase the resilience of your own self and make yourself feel more empowered to change or prevent things. That part of your brain that is coming up with al of these ideas about what might go wrong is trying to protect you. Set it about thinking of ways to do something about whatever negative event it comes up with. Can it think of any ways to protect you?
Finally, keeping a daily gratitude list really helped me focus my mind on how good things can be. Constantly forcing myself to look for the good in situations had a very lasting beneficial effect. Yes, it’s raining, but at least I have a coat. At least I’m not stuck in it all day, I’m just dashing to the supermarket. At least it’s not snowing, etc. It’s much more pleasant to think about nice things than unpleasant ones, and the anxious part of your brain will learn to do that if you teach it to.
posted by Solomon at 10:22 AM on December 15, 2014
I don’t fight my negativity. I embrace it, and draw power from it. There are things I mean to do with the time given to me in this life, and God help anybody stupid enough to get in my way.
You can hurt me. You can scare me. You can break my heart. But the only way to stop me is to kill me. Anything less is just fuel for my fire.
posted by starbreaker at 10:55 AM on December 15, 2014
from Winnie the Pooh:
“What if a tree falls down with us underneath?” said Piglet,
“What if it doesn’t” said Pooh, after careful consideration.
At that Piglet was reassured
posted by Dorothea_in_Rome at 12:23 PM on December 15, 2014
Also, exercise is a pretty surefire way to feel better, at least for short periods of time. It makes you feel good about yourself and induces positive chemical changes in your brain and body. If you hate exercise, all the better! You can feel extra good afterwards for overcoming your dislike of it.
posted by freecellwizard at 12:36 PM on December 15, 2014
Investigating or analyzing your thoughts such as through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
