- The most compassionate people have boundaries of steel.
- “I am compassionate because I don’t subject myself to the abuse of other people:”
- I can find god and love in you, but I am going to hold you accountable for what you did while I am loving you.
- When you avoid conflict (setting boundaries) to make peace with other people — you start a war within.
- BIG = What boundaries need to be in place for me to be in integrity and generous towards you.
Choice Theory
Example with a toddler not wanting to eat:
We would put peas on Charlie’s tray to eat for supper and he would pick them up and he throw them on the floor. I would say, “Charlie have two choices you can leave your peas on your tray or you can be done eating what do you choose?” He looked me right in the eye take those peas drop them right on the floor. “Okay Charlie you chose to be done with supper”. And he says “I hungie! I hungie!”. And I reply with “yeah I know it’s too bad I really want you to eat more but you chose to be done” that’s it.
How many times do you backslide before they don’t believe you?
Backsliding instills in others an insecurity about place and self.
- Pain that is not transformed will be transmitted.
- Do systems (political, capital) dehumanize people? This causes all kinds of problems.
